*looks at you seductively* *lowers glasses* i can’t see a thing
Anonymous asked: T H E P A R T Y B E G I N S N O W
What kind of party is this?
Anonymous asked: SCP-2739-J - The Doge: The Doge is an internet meme that, when viewed, compels the viewer to have one of two reactions. The first being to speak in a broken grammatical form of English, an example being "Very doge. Much wow." The second to react in extreme anger, in one case sending the viewer on a killing rampage. A quote from the person being, "If we have to contain the doge I will shoot everyone on this site including myself." - Dr. ████████, before killing ███ people in Site ██.
This is next to SCP-2740-J - Lolcats. We have come full circle …
A coffee pot can be a coffee mug if you just don’t fucking care
On today’s episode of Things I Overheard in the Breakroom and Demand Context For:
"You really think he’d do that?"
"Over one report?"
"Yes. Look, this is the guy who snapped Satan’s neck with his bare h-"
"With his bare hands."
I would tell them Clef’s not technically Satan but I like the cred.
earthbound-lesbian asked: wow. such doge. much memetic. very containment?
If we have to contain the doge I will shoot everyone on this site including myself.
Anonymous asked: What's the worst possible scenario for 096 breaching containment? And why the flying fuck is 096 not Keter?
I would say the worst possible scenario would be if someone a great distance away witnesses its face via a video or photograph. 096 has been shown to respond to viewings of its face that are only a few pixels, which means that it’s basically a time bomb. Someone goes through old photos and it’s in the background? They’re dead.
Obviously, the greater the distance traveled, the more likely people are to see it. Also, the more likely the media is to get involved. Something like this would make international news, and millions of people would be watching it on their television screens. 096 would go after them all, resulting in it travelling extensively, and constantly resulting in more and more viewings.
Due to the fact that 096 could be an XK-scenario threat should this happen, I lean on the side of upgrading it to Keter. However, our classifications don’t just take into account how dangerous something is in general; their containment difficulty is also taken into account. 096 is very easy to contain, making it classify as Euclid. However, if something like the scenario above happened, that would probably not be as accurate.
As far as 096 goes, I have advocated and always will advocate for its immediate termination. It’s just too dangerous to have sitting around.