Apr/16/14
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alderaans:

In school, we learned about this scientist who trained dogs to salivate at the sound of a bell by feeding them whenever a bell rang. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been conducting a similar experiment.


Apr/14/14
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ghostcattgirl:

just gonna leave this here before I go to bed

ghostcattgirl:

just gonna leave this here before I go to bed


Apr/14/14
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Apr/12/14
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sassygayklavierspieler:

Cute music terms to name your children:

  • Viola
  • Harmony
  • Melody
  • Cadence
  • Carol
  • Hymn
  • Celeste
  • Clef
  • Agitato
  • Oboe Player
  • F Sharp
  • Barbaro
  • Plagal
  • Smorzando
  • ii♭ 6-4
  • Canon in inversion and augmentation

Don’t name your child Clef


Apr/11/14
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Motion to remove the tongues of anyone who talks too loudly for more than ten seconds around me.


ditenean;
"Hey, Boss, someone wanted me to tell ye they still hate yuir guts. And presumably the rest of ye. No idea who, but apparently I'm yuir secretary now, taking messages. Ugh."

ditenean:

kondraki:

"I’m assuming you sent them the relevant business card?"

"If not, feel free to pass it on."

"Which one, the one that says Director of Kiss My Ass Dept., or the one that— GODDAMN IT I AM NOT YUIR SECRETARY."

"The one that says "Complaints Department" and then has a clipart of a trashcan."


Apr/07/14
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ditenean;
"Hey, Boss, someone wanted me to tell ye they still hate yuir guts. And presumably the rest of ye. No idea who, but apparently I'm yuir secretary now, taking messages. Ugh."

"I’m assuming you sent them the relevant business card?"

"If not, feel free to pass it on."


oh my god

progeny-ex-machina:

From the acclaimed director of “Clef Wears Prada” and “Planet of the Brights” comes the greatest comedy of the year…

Dr. Blackbox Kondraki is a tough-as-nails SCP agent who always shoots first. He’s got the mouth of a sailor, the attitude of a raging bull, and all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile. But when the O5 council detects anomalous activity at the Miss United States pageant, and all the other senior staff manage to think up excuses to avoid the job, it’s up to a horrified Kondraki to infiltrate the pageant as the gorgeous, graceful “Konny Lou Freebush” and root out the source of the anomaly. May 343 have mercy on us all.

Miss Kongeniality

Rated Euclid-13. In theaters everywhere this summer.


Apr/05/14
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aim-initiative;
We will raid. We will free them from their cages. They will lay waste to your offices and facilities. You will be freed from your mortal coil and your fragile form.

Ahhh, I see. Yeah, did you know it’s super easy to release all the Scips? There’s a mass release button in the main control room, just like that movie about the cabin in the woods. What was that called again? Cabin in the Woods, that was it.


Apr/05/14
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aim-initiative;
We will come for you. We will liberate you. We will free them. The Angels tell us so. 4/12/2014

Nice and cryptic, just what I expected.

Gonna explain what that actually means or should I add this screencap to my People Who Have Sent Cryptic and Vaguely Threatening Messages But in the End Did Sweet Fuck All folder?