Oct/20/14
1 note
reblog
Anonymous;
I know of a place inside your mind where you can fly, just take another pill. Take another pill. Take another pill. Grab another bottle and start again.

Are you encouraging me to do hallucinatory drugs? Because trust me, that’s the last thing I ought to be taking.


Anonymous;
Is it weird to give SCP-173 money for sexual favors?

progeny-ex-machina:

hisclockworkservants:

Yes. Because it’s a concrete statue.

Yeah, what the hell would it do with money?

Everything is a dildo if you try hard and believe in yourself!


Oct/11/14
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clannyphantom:

*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine


Oct/10/14
4 notes
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Anonymous;
(◕ᴥ◕し) < Mameshiba!!! Did you know? Bedbugs mate by stabbing their partner with their penis and ejaculating into their bloodstream!

Unfortunately I am already aware of that particular bit of information, and have thus used up all my “same” jokes. I’m sure you appreciate the sentiment, though.


Oct/10/14
7 notes
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Anonymous;
Did... did you just put sunglasses on over your glasses? Are they snap on shades? What are we lookin' at here?

You’re looking at me wearing sunglasses over my glasses, with another pair of sunglasses dangling from the collar of my shirt.

If you think that’s bad, wait until I do this in the labs and there are safety goggles to work with, too.


Oct/10/14
10 notes
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Anonymous;
your gay

Is everyone ready for this?

*puts on sunglasses*

MY GAY WHAT?


Oct/10/14
7 notes
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Anonymous;
How would you describe what you're like in bed?

The most frequent thing I’ve heard is “a really exciting rollercoaster but the safety bars are loose and the fellow rider is trying to strangle me”, so I’d probably tend to agree with that.


Anonymous;
youre gay

agenttrentcarter:

kondraki:

For fuck’s sake, you missed the apostrophe but added the “e” so I can’t even say “my gay what?”.

You’re why I drink, you know that?

What petty, petty problems you have.

know that was you you motherfucker you’ve not been online since September 13th and then I get this ask and suddenly you pop up and reblog it god damn you’re about as discrete as all the CI double agents I’ve killed


Oct/10/14
24 notes
reblog
Anonymous;
youre gay

For fuck’s sake, you missed the apostrophe but added the “e” so I can’t even say “my gay what?”.

You’re why I drink, you know that?


Oct/09/14
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schweiber:

*to the tune of “our house”* I’m DRUNK in the middle of the WEEK